Tech-savvy Professional Gifts

Employee performance review software.

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

'Your first board meeting?'

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

Have you considered using email?

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

e-shoes

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Weird things I do because of the internet

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

Relaxing in the Sun

"Did you get my tweet?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

The Re-Opening of Schools

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

Early Learning Today

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob