Surgery Satire Appreciator Gifts

'I have a golf outing today, so my son will be operating on you instead. Don't worry, he has a 'C' average in medical school.'

'After we've given you a new heart we make you a ham sandwich!'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

Paramedics.

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'You carry a rabbit's foot — well, that explains the rabbit fever.'

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"