Surgical Satire Admirer Gifts

Well, it's a heck of a time to demand a second opinion.

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"It was a botched surgery."

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Paramedics.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"