Surgery Satire Lover Gifts

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

Name that Artery

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Surgeon chiselling at a patient.

'I know I agreed to give you breast reduction surgery, but I've changed my mind...I've been getting death threats!'

A day in the life of Dr Dan. Freestyle Cosmetic Surgeon.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Hospital Cleaning.

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

"The way to man's heart is passing through his stomach..."

'All right! What happened to the hand?'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"It was a botched surgery."