Surgery Satire Lover Pillows

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

Name that Artery

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Surgeon chiselling at a patient.

"I'll adjust that before we do the other eye."

'I know I agreed to give you breast reduction surgery, but I've changed my mind...I've been getting death threats!'

A day in the life of Dr Dan. Freestyle Cosmetic Surgeon.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Hospital Cleaning.

'Well, we saved this attorney...some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin.'

"The way to man's heart is passing through his stomach..."

'All right! What happened to the hand?'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'