Surgical Satire Lover Pillows

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean."

"Dr Freeley...a word about your technique."

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

Everyone, even the hospital surgeons, would tell you that Gary had a generous heart.

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

"The doctor'sjust killing time while wewait for the nurse to get back and close the patient back up."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."