Surgery Satire Fan Gifts

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'And if you like we can arrange for you to receive next to last rites on the morning of your surgery.'

Rhinoplastic Surgery.

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'I can't restore your virginity...but I can tighten the screws.'

"How did your nose job go?"

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"

"I don't carry as much money as I used to. Could you decrease the size of my wazoo?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Lactose Intolerant

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You've got dry scalp.'

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"It was a botched surgery."