Surgical Humor Fan Gifts

'What are you in for?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'I can't turn it off.'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

Hospital Cleaning.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"