Comedy Surgery Fan Gifts

'I can't turn it off.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Hospital Cleaning.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'It's a routine operation.'