Comedic Surgery Fan Gifts

Dr. Potato Head

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'I can't turn it off.'

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

"I would like organic milk!"

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

Door-to-Door Liposuction.

'Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator.'

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

'How did the operation go last night?'