Comedic Surgery Fan Gifts

Dr. Potato Head

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'I can't turn it off.'

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"I would like organic milk!"

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

Door-to-Door Liposuction.

'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'

'Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator.'

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"