Surgery Fan Gifts

'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'

Scalpel.

Man waking from operation. Post it note stuck to him saying 'while you were out cold'.

"Here's his medical directive."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

Surgery Instructions.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Good?"

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."