Surgical Procedure Fan Gifts

Surgery Instructions.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

DIY marriage counseling.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'