Medical Procedure Fan Gifts

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

DIY marriage counseling.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

Surgery Instructions.

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Try taking baby steps."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'