Emergency Procedure Fan Gifts

In Case of Emergency, Break Glass.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

First aid in mountains

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Surgery Instructions.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

You're a sham, Al. In truth, I'm a mere shadow of my former sham, doctor. I was hoping you might help me get back to my old fake self.

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.