Medical Procedure Fan Pillows

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

Surgery Instructions.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Try taking baby steps."