Surgery Fan Pillows

'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'

Scalpel.

Man waking from operation. Post it note stuck to him saying 'while you were out cold'.

"Here's his medical directive."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

DIY marriage counseling.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

Surgery Instructions.

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Good?"

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'