Cosmetic Surgery Fans Pillows

'I'd like to buy my wife a nose job.'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Surgery Instructions.

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Cosmetic pouches.

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'Botox...' - pumpkin faces

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

Door-to-Door Liposuction.

'Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator.'

Somebody had a face-lift.

In hindsight, a hook hand was stupidly impractical.

An evolutionary turning point.

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

Dr. Potato Head

'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'

"You end up with the face you can afford."

"And she's had her tentacles waxed."

'Sometimes I sort of miss pre-hair-restorer-Timothy...'

Budget Toupees.

Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"Here's his medical directive."

Scalpel.

"But enough about my teeth. Let's talk about your teeth."

"Ideally, I'd like a reboot to 'factory settings'."

'Okay then, Irene, I won't mention your face-lift and you don't say anything about my implants!'

"You imbecile! I asked for a bigger 'pout'."

'That's is. Keep your finger on there until I have this knot tied.'

Scary surgery

"When I started it was just a couple of small injections twice a week."

"My hair is taking too long to grow so let's shorten my face."

'Did you have it professionally done or did you use those tusk whitening strips?'