Cosmetic Fan Pillows

"My hair is taking too long to grow so let's shorten my face."

"Apologies for my barking, Janet. I didn't recognize you without your foundation makeup, wig, ridiculously fake eyelashes and caterpillar eyebrows." "Dude's got a point."

'Yeah, he got rid of the crow's feet... but I can still see the tracks!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Hairstyles

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

"You must be new around here, pardner."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'Now where did I lay my comb?'

"Oh, no, not the messy hair bun!"

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

'It's about the 'air conditioning - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!'

Holstein spotting kit.

"No?"

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

A man with a unibrow sneezes and the unibrow becomes his moustache.

Although not having a bad hare day, Paul and Toni were certainly having an unusual hare day that Easter.

Lipstick hiccups

"You've got some beard in your food."

"You end up with the face you can afford."

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

'Sometimes I sort of miss pre-hair-restorer-Timothy...'

'Do you mind if I grow a beard?' 'Okay. As long as you don't wear it in the house.'