Comedic Therapy Fan Gifts

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

DIY marriage counseling.

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'Extreme acupuncture.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'