Comedic Contemplation Fan Gifts

'This mattress feels lumpy, but then again, that could be me.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Have you been working out?'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Your karma will catch up with you!

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Ambrose's - for sale. Wonderful opportunity for a man named Ambrose.

Scuba Skater

LARGE FRONT

Apparently, Mr, Fradkin, evolution is a two-way street,

"I would like organic milk!"

Pot Needles

Admiral Lord Nelson practiced mindfulness techniques daily to reduce his stress levels. He found an hour of 'naval gazing' worked wonders.

"Well, of course you have a heart."

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

'If your intention was to hurt my feelings, mission accomplished.'

"Dave? I have big news. I hope you're in the lotus position."

'I feel unimportant and worthless because the NSA doesn't spy on me.'

'Are you sure about this? -- Enlightenment isn't for sissies.'

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

Hammering Away

"Don't men look hideous without their wallets?

'The complex,yes, the inferiority, no.'

"I couldn't sleep so consider your job offer withdrawn."

Zen & the art of looking busy.