Comedic Contemplation Fan Gifts

'This mattress feels lumpy, but then again, that could be me.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Have you been working out?'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Your karma will catch up with you!

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Scuba Skater

Ambrose's - for sale. Wonderful opportunity for a man named Ambrose.

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Apparently, Mr, Fradkin, evolution is a two-way street,

Pot Needles

Admiral Lord Nelson practiced mindfulness techniques daily to reduce his stress levels. He found an hour of 'naval gazing' worked wonders.

LARGE FRONT

"I would like organic milk!"

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

'If your intention was to hurt my feelings, mission accomplished.'

'I feel unimportant and worthless because the NSA doesn't spy on me.'

"Dave? I have big news. I hope you're in the lotus position."

'Are you sure about this? -- Enlightenment isn't for sissies.'

In the Museum of Anthropology...we named this one discoman.

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

You can't possibly be thinking about nothing if your tail is wagging.

Hammering Away

"Don't men look hideous without their wallets?

"I couldn't sleep so consider your job offer withdrawn."

'The complex,yes, the inferiority, no.'