Contract Contemplation Fan Gifts

"I couldn't sleep so consider your job offer withdrawn."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

'Have you been working out?'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

When boomerangs argue.

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"Boy, I wish I had brought some magazines..."

'Make up your mind! Are you mulling or musing?'

Energy speculation.

"I like to keep my option open."

'They want to know if they can have their arrows back.'

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

Pot Needles

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

Admiral Lord Nelson practiced mindfulness techniques daily to reduce his stress levels. He found an hour of 'naval gazing' worked wonders.

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

"My mind is especially empty today."

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

Servant's Request

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

"Have you given any thought to what you want to think about when you grow up?"