Contract Contemplator Gifts

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

Echoes - 'Hellooooo'.

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'

'It is a standard contract - sign at the bottom. The first clause forbids you to read any of the others!'

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

"How much worse?"

"Ya know, with football, hockey and basketball seasons over, maybe it’s time to set the date."

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

Art Gallery View.

The Master Switch

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

'I know we're in love, but there should be an easier way out of it than marriage.'

Larry promised himself he wouldn't give into the pier pressure...not again.