Religion Contemplator Gifts

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Professional woman in pub

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Shall we put it in play?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'I just can't keep up with the conversations in deep space.'

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

Apocalipsis

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"Pay no attention. It's his way of telling us he needs a lot of space."

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

'Attaining harmony with the universe is a gradual process. You need to start with a cease-fire.'

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

'There's only one honest way to make money.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'The vasteness of the universe makes me feel so small and insignificant.'

'I know I'm the center of the universe.'

"Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life than unlocking the mysteries of the universe."

I think we need to come to terms with the fact that our God is a cr**py God!

The Master Switch

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

Give them another eclipse. The last one actually made them quite for a few minutes!