Confessional Contemplator Gifts

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Shall we put it in play?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'I just can't keep up with the conversations in deep space.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Apocalipsis

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Echoes - 'Hellooooo'.

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

"Pay no attention. It's his way of telling us he needs a lot of space."

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

'Attaining harmony with the universe is a gradual process. You need to start with a cease-fire.'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."