Celibacy Contemplator Gifts

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

'We were just testing our faith.'

"I give and I give but all they see is take."

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

Echoes - 'Hellooooo'.

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

"How much worse?"

"Ya know, with football, hockey and basketball seasons over, maybe it’s time to set the date."

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

The Master Switch

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

"The glass is half full�"

'I know we're in love, but there should be an easier way out of it than marriage.'

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'He just found out he's no longer in the literary canon.'

"Are you a man or a mouse?"

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

'Not having second thoughts, are we, Brother Thomas?'

"I had my fingers crossed when we did tat vow of celibacy."

'I was driving to my wedding when my GPS recalculated and so did I.'