Celibacy Advocate Gifts

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

'It's a silent protest.'

Horace Mann

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

When protons collide...

'I haven't been campaigning for a creche all these years for nothing - you're going!'

Randi Rhodes

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

'We were just testing our faith.'

'Please listen carefully as my campaign promise menu has changed...'

'Yes, Ms Worthy, I know pointing is rude, but it's important that we identify your attacker to the court.'

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."

Civil discourse

'Entering Washington, DC. Congressional 'civility' level: undetectable.'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

'Go back indoors! Leaning out of a window is against the law!'

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

Ron Paul Campaign.

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

Are you against violence on TV - No just Gore.

'Artistic it might have been, but those sort of films ought to be banned.'

"Hat crimes"

It's a Bill of Frights Now

Observe - Do not Judge - Embrace

Teaching Tolerance.

"Dare I ponder what's next?"

'Would you mind turning your radio down?'

"My client has nothing to leak at this time."

Shut Up

'Harry, you're so relaxed, happy, non-confrontational...have you gone bi-partisan on me?'