Celibacy Challenger Gifts

'We were just testing our faith.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Do not think outside the box!

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Freedom of Speech

"Yoga helps me unwind."

Choice hellhole

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

'Confusionism'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

The Power of the Pen

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"Is it possible to achieve inner peace and a charley horse at the same time."

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

Laugh, Live, Love, Loathe

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

'Darn. His Holiness' letter says nothing about cancelling celibacy.'

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

"Yogi Down!"

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'The end is near.'

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

'I hate it when medical waste washes up on shore. Just look at all these denial of service letters.'

Up, down, whatever (elevator with apathy)