Psychotherapy Fan Gifts

"I'll try to find out what makes you tick, what makes you cuckoo."

Licensed Therapist

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

DIY marriage counseling.

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

Laughter Therapy.

'You're too aggressive.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent