Group Therapy Fan Gifts

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

A support group for crayons nobody ever uses.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

DIY marriage counseling.

Only Clowns

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Laughter Therapy.

'Group hug anyone?'

Therapy for the cow dependent

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Near as I can figure, your painting style is Depressionist."

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'