Psychiatry Fan Gifts

Emergency book: 'How To Cope With Stress'.

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Employment recruitment aptitude test

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

'It's definitely not broken... but you may have pulled a hammy!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

'Say, please.'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

'You're too aggressive.'

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

'Damn it! I suppose this means another malpractice suit!'

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

"Where do my needs fit into your little hierarchy, Maslow?"

"I was on a roll at first. Then, things began to unravel, and my life just went down the drain."