Psychiatry Enthusiast Gifts

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Troop Therapy

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."