Psychotherapy Enthusiast Gifts

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Counselling Cash.

If cats were psychiatrists.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Couples' therapy

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

X-ray Psychology.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."