Psychotherapy Enthusiast Gifts

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Counselling Cash.

If cats were psychiatrists.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Couples' therapy

"I'm the bad guy..."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

X-ray Psychology.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

Pavlov's Puppy

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'