Mental Health Enthusiasts Gifts

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'I guess my problem is I've never really had anyone to look up to.'

After a fruitless 18 years search over five continents, Joe Golez finally finds himself in the Gents of a flee-bitten bar in downtown San Antone.

'When you said you're a contrarian, I just assumed you meant your investment style, Mr. Kobenz.'

'Don't you see Rick - your slump is just a success neurosis. You found your .394 average dangerous, because you fantasised that it would bring about resentment.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

"Am I sensing fear?"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'You lost your home and farm. Do you want to talk about it?

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'Since I've been identifying with you, I've been appointed director of the Millwood Psychiatric Institute.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'