Mental Health Aficionados Gifts

"So, do you think this Soprano guy will end up whacking his shrink or what?"

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

'…and so you see your unfulfilled hopes and ambitions in the form of the mailman.'

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'