Mental Health Nerd Gifts

'Aww, cheer up. You'll be through postpartum depression and into the empty nest syndrome before you know it!'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

'…and so you see your unfulfilled hopes and ambitions in the form of the mailman.'

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

Brunel sees his psychiatrist