Mental Wellness Weirdos Gifts

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"The overthinker"

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"Uptight End"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Dreams I have had...

DNA Analysis.

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

Mental Health System Breakdown

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'I'm beginning to think outside the box again - get my GP quickly!'

Man constantly stressing

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."