Psychology Nerd Gifts

'Er...nice tattoo, Oedipus.'

OCD Unit - Stop washing your hands.

Rank: Everyone unconsciously desires to return to the womb.

'Tthe birth of self-consciousness' - 'Holy Smoke - I'm standing here!'

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'

"Could it be the one you're hiding from is you?"

"If I keep pressing this button the elevator will go faster."

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"George! Don't watch the news if you're going to act this way!"

"I think that's your reptile brain speaking, Cynthia!"

"You may need to seek professional help."

'On the other hand, there's always the possibility that you really are Napoleon, and I'm just some nut who thinks he's a psychiatrist.'

'After two years of therapy, I have concluded that you are a couch potato.'

Rorschanck test, "I don't know what that means to me- I'm dsylexic"

'End the war? Are you kidding? He's not even at peace with himself.'

"The answer is politics. In your manic state you can go out campaigning, and in your depressive state you can stay in the office."

"So, how's that new medication working for your paranoia?"

I told you Norman Bates and Oedipus would have a lot to talk about.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Ascent of Machine.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

X-ray Psychology.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Pavlov's Puppy

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

Vaccine

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."