Psychology Geeks Gifts

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Banana Split Personality

Pavlov's Puppy

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'I screwed up royally!'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"Tell me more about your 'and then it hit me' moment, Mr. Pinata."

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Psychoanalysis

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."