Psychology Aficionados Gifts

"Listen, I'm going to close my eyes for a short bit but you just keep on talking.".

'It's ironic, but I'm afraid that there is nothing that you can take for your kleptomania!'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"I'm not either a control freak!"

"Stupid quiz results! 'Your selfishness and lack of empathy put you the psychopath category'! Can you believe this?!"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I'm the bad guy..."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Pavlov's Puppy

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

Blok drives by New York City.

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

Pavlov's Cat

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

Mummy Shrink.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"You have got to want to change."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -