Psychology Nerds Gifts

'I don't know why, but whenever I hear ringing I order pavlova.'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

Max Weber

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Brains

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

'You have to realise that as a potato you are a very complex carbohydrate.'

'Medea' Studies

"A few centuries ago, there was a very primitive system for data transmission: it was called Synapse.

Psycho-plankton.

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

I was toilet trained a month early, and it's been downhill ever since

"So, how's that new medication working for your paranoia?"

'Now let's explore your dark side.'

Al, what's your real reason for wearing a beret? It keeps the voice in my head warm.

I told you Norman Bates and Oedipus would have a lot to talk about.

"You may need to seek professional help."

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

If you don't help me find happiness, you haven

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"Now that I have prefrontal cortex, I worry about everything."

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''