Psychology Geek Gifts

'I have cradle to grave insecurity.'

Last chance for dream analysis.

Emojis for psychos.

"I solved the maze in fifty-three seconds, but it was a Monday level."

"What a day! You wouldn't believe the hellacious archetypes I had to deal with."

"Therapy."

"Maybe everyone would feel more comfortable being vulnerable round you if you weren't trying to eat them."

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

If you don't help me find happiness, you haven

Al, what's your real reason for wearing a beret? It keeps the voice in my head warm.

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

'I'm going to have to stop going to therapy... I can't afford the extra emotional baggage fees.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Banana Split Personality

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Pavlov's Puppy

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'