Psychology Geek Pillows

'I have cradle to grave insecurity.'

Last chance for dream analysis.

"I solved the maze in fifty-three seconds, but it was a Monday level."

"What a day! You wouldn't believe the hellacious archetypes I had to deal with."

"Therapy."

"Maybe everyone would feel more comfortable being vulnerable round you if you weren't trying to eat them."

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

'I'm going to have to stop going to therapy... I can't afford the extra emotional baggage fees.'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Banana Split Personality

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Pavlov's Puppy

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I screwed up royally!'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

Free-Floating Anxiety