Mental Health Humor Fan Gifts

The voice in Myron's head was a psychologist. It didn't say too much, it would just listen to Myron's problems and send him a bill every month.

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Teach me not to care."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

Sardine psychologist.

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"You've got a few screws loose."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Fakir Shrink.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."