Mental Health Humor Fan Gifts

The voice in Myron's head was a psychologist. It didn't say too much, it would just listen to Myron's problems and send him a bill every month.

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Sardine psychologist.

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Can I take your disorder?

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

"You've got a few screws loose."

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

Fakir Shrink.

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."