Mental Health Nerd Pillows

'Aww, cheer up. You'll be through postpartum depression and into the empty nest syndrome before you know it!'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

'…and so you see your unfulfilled hopes and ambitions in the form of the mailman.'

"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

Brunel sees his psychiatrist

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."