Quirky Mental Health Enthusiast Pillows

"Healthy Self-Talk for Dumb Stupid Idiots."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'