Quirky Mental Health Enthusiast Gifts

"Healthy Self-Talk for Dumb Stupid Idiots."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."