Quirky Healthcare Enthusiast Gifts

Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist.

Scratch 'n dent pacemaker sale! 40% off!

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

Dr. Potato Head

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

'I DID work out today, doc. Sitting all afternoon in your waiting room was a real exercise in frustration!'

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

'These are your parking charges.'

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Plastic Surgery

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

'I'd like a late afternoon appointment please. To give his hands a chance to warm up.'