Quirky Healthcare Enthusiasts Gifts

'Does your tooth still hurt?' - 'I dunno, the dentist kept it.'

'Snap out of it.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

An allergist sneezing

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'Yes, I know you're not a vet. But as you're a quack, I thought yo might be able to help.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

"Dr. Jenkins was too cheap to buy a state-of-the-art EHR system so he bought this at a public library auction instead."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'Wake up! You've got to take a new disability test...'

'Elizabeth, dangit, woman you are testing my patients.'

'What are YOU doing here?'

'Well, he's had the 3 in 1 now. He's got measles, mumps and rubella!'

'Please be patient. The Doctor will see you as soon as possible. Thank you.'

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

Well at least there's consistency in SOME things.

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

All New Prescriptions Require FBI Approval.

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

'And this is where we massage the waiting list figures.'

"Relax! That first crack is just me getting past your deductible."

Dr. Potato Head

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

The old good-doc, bad cop routine.