Satirical Healthcare Enthusiasts Gifts

'Of course, you're welcome to a second opinion from our HMO's insurance executive.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Snap out of it.'

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

Medical Center.

If the NHS designed cars...They'd probably be the worst cars in the world.

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Urology...can you hold?'