Quirky Healthcare Humor Aficionado Gifts

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Flu Drugs.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'